Human beings are naturally religious. Going back to the beginning of human history we have always looked outside ourselves to explain why things are the way they are whether that was paganism, shamanism, or animism to nontheistic spirituality of Buddhism, or the monotheistic Abrahamic religions of Judaism, Christianity, or Islam.
We all need to believe in something bigger than ourselves whether that gets labeled as love, nature, purpose, or God.
We are ALL worshiping something.
Even atheists who feel they have outsmarted us as spiritually-minded people have met our perceived “ignorance” with their own religious fervor. And that isn’t even including other things that fill the void we all have inside for spirituality with something else entirely.
In modern secular society, this natural human religious tendency leads us to worship things we probably shouldn’t. Things like money, alcohol, sex, gambling, drugs, attention, social media, shopping, and the self, etc.
When we make these things the center of our lives things tend to fall apart. We end up hurting ourselves and others. We ruin our lives.
This is why it’s important to know what exactly you are worshipping. What are you centering in your life?
I, for example, have addictions to YouTube, social media scrolling, researching the perfect ideology to live by (politically/economically/psychologically/spiritually), and spending money on things I don’t need.
But my religion has always been centered around the Self:
Self-help, self-improvement, self-awareness, self-love, self-acceptance, self-expression, self-analysis blah, blah, blah.
Talk about self-absorbed.
I tricked myself into believing that I was getting somewhere. Having self-awareness is a good thing and I think the drive to want to be better is noble. Although I was desperate to use everything I learned to create something that would help others and make a positive impact on the world I was never able to really get to that step. I created this blog, I formulated a “system” that others could use to self-actualize, I wrote a book with journal prompts to help people become more self-aware, and I created YouTube channels focused on healing the Self…
But they were lacking something. And I don’t believe they really helped anyone. I was fooling myself. I felt like I had failed. To do nothing for others with all of my supposed growth is useless. I was in an endless loop of learning about myself and everything I needed to heal to become whole one day.
But that day never came.
I was never able to master myself so that I could help others. I kept working and waiting for the day when I finally had it all figured out but that day never came. And when I tried, I felt like a fraud.
I had learned a lot but not much changed.
I didn’t understand that my strong urge to direct my religious nature onto something worthy would never be satisfied if it was only focused on me. Or nature. Or The Universe.
What I was missing was the balance of my intangible spirituality with something more solid.
Something other than ME ME ME.
I never thought I was a selfish person because I was such a people-pleaser. But when I looked at the motivations of my people-pleasing, they were always coming from a need to be liked, loved, accepted, and to belong. So it was about me every time.
I was a free spirit, but there was no grounding force in that freedom. All freedom with no responsibility doesn’t bode well for human beings. I needed something solid to counteract that flightiness and somewhere to safely land to stop my spiritual freefall.
I stated before that human beings are religious by nature because we need to believe in something bigger than ourselves, to feel a sense of awe and purpose.
But we are also religious in that we need structure, routine, and authority to guide us. We need systems and order, a moral code, responsibility, and a sense of honor. We work better as societies when these things are firmly in place.
I could not find this solid ground or worthy authority in New Age spirituality. And those that had authority such as Buddhism and Hinduism were not cutting it for me.
There was something missing.
As someone who had been in hippie-type circles and had been immersed in “new age” spirituality my entire life since tweendom, I was allowed to experiment and look into any religion I wanted to without shame except for one:
Christianity.
That was a no-no.
Christians were judgmental. Stupid. Bigots. Naive. Ridiculous. Hypocrites.
Therefore, if you even considered looking into this religion you were also a stupid, evil, bigot. And you’d be condoning every bad thing the Church had supposedly done ever.
But it keeps calling to me.
There’s something so solid and True about the Trinity and the natural authority of the Orthodox Church. Even if Yeshua was only a great man and not the Son of God, why would I not want to follow what he taught?
There is a groundedness and sense of devotion growing in me concerning Jesus that rivals the feeling I have when I’ve been overwhelmed by the beauty of nature or lost in a moment of pure love.
And that it seems to encompass more than that. It’s more than a feeling I get. It’s the knowing that I can surrender to God.
Not an idea of nature, or the universe. But to a knowable God.
There has to be something solid to surrender to.
If not then there is just freefall. We are left to our imperfect knowledge rather than God’s perfect wisdom.
And that may be ok with you. But where are you falling to?
In life, there are plenty of freefall moments. The trust comes in knowing that God will catch you.
The point is that we are all religious about something. I want to be intentional with what I center my life around. I don’t want to passively let any devil into my life.
Who do you serve in your life?
What purpose do you serve?
If you don’t know, it’s time to find out.
<3
Nicole