What do you do when all your heroes are slowly exposed for corrupt, immoral, dishonest, criminal, or even evil behavior?
This is what that commandment from the bible means. The one about putting “no other gods before me” or worshiping false idols.
Forget about the jealous god thing.
I’m talking about a spiritual truth. A human truth.
Everyone falls short.
Everyone disappoints. No one can live up to the ideals you have in your head, including yourself.
This means we can’t put anyone up on a pedestal or assume they are better than us in some way. No one is perfect.
You can admire traits in others or their accomplishments but they have a dark side as well whether or not you can see it.
And sometimes those who are preaching the loudest about injustice are the ones committing the most disgusting offenses they are railing against.
Lately, I’ve come to some difficult conclusions about how wrong I’ve been concerning religious and sociopolitical opinions. I’ve been very critical of The Right, especially the Christian Right. All my life I’ve judged them and condemned them (and usually rightly so) for being exclusive, hateful, and judgmental toward people who are not like them.
But I can’t claim that I’ve done things any differently. Even my heroes turned out to be the evil I thought I was fighting.
There are things conservative Christians have said that I laughed at. I thought they were archaic and ridiculous and filled with hatred and bigotry. And in some cases that may be true. But in most, it was probably my own perception that clouded reality. And the reality is that they care about making the world a better place just like I do. They just have different criticisms, experiences, and conclusions about how to do that.
Anyway, the reason I started thinking about the fall of heroes is that I just found out today that Justin Sane, lead singer and guitarist of Anti-Flag – the most outspoken political punk band of the last 3 decades- is a rapist.
A RAPIST.
This is earth-shattering for a lot of people.
I was shocked that the band that further solidified my leftist political beliefs and even educated me to a certain extent on global issues including war, government corruption, racism, oppression, injustice, hypocrisy, and sexism…. has all along had a frontman that has preyed on and sexually assaulted women and girls who found hope and inspiration in their message.
I feel so betrayed.
In 2009 I even got their fucking logo tattooed on my back.
It’s five M16s – guns used by the US military – broken in the shape of a star. It’s supposed to be an anti-war tattoo.
But what does it stand for now?
I want it off.
I want it off NOW but I’m too broke to do anything about it.
I’m starting to understand why people would say things like “only Jesus saves.”
Because none of us measure up.
Even the most vocal proponents of peace and love could be the most disgusting people. This is the same as the Catholic priests who devoted their entire lives to God forsaking all earthly pleasures, who are revered as pious holy men exalted above all of us and turn out to be vile child molesters.
Justin created his church of anti-oppression and was the king of grooming and vicious sexual abuse this whole time!
All of this has been a lie.
I haven’t listened to Anti-Flag in years but there was a time I was a huge fan who knew every lyric to every song. I was addicted to the righteous rage fueled by their pop-punk riffs and social justice-infused anthems.
I thought I was better than most people or morally superior in part due to my leftist education on how this country has been an oppressive force around the world. This band opened my eyes to certain issues I wasn’t aware of like depleted uranium and Gulf War Syndrome sickness in veterans.
But I’m just as ignorant, selfish, flawed, and lost as anyone.
I spoke out on social media about how the world is changing and The Left is not what it seems. That everything The Left used to stand for including peace, equality, free speech, anti-sexism, anti-racism, anti-establishment… they are creating the EXACT opposite.
And people are angry at me for saying it.
They think I’m a traitor.
Who knows what kinds of things they think I believe. They probably think of me what I thought of Trump supporters just a few years ago: stupid, bigot, ignorant, sellout, fascist…
The point is, I have no more heroes.
I have people that I look up to for having integrity and for speaking truth to power, but they are no better than I am. And I will not be surprised when they let me down and turn out to be a hypocrite.
They probably have just as big of a dark side as I do. Or bigger.
I can’t survive on their example or “inspiration” alone.
Only Source can guide me.
Only S/He knows my purpose.
Only S/He gives me strength.
This woke cancel culture and its ideologies have flipped upside down and become meaningless.
Our heroes are dead.
Don’t rely on human leaders to bring you back to life.
Stay receptive and surrender to God.
That’s the only thing in this fucked up world that makes sense to me right now.
Nicole Ivy