I just finished my daily yoga practice (and you can too ;D). It seems that around 30% of the time I practice I can expect emotions to come up.
Through releasing blocked energy and stuck emotions in certain areas of the body, I usually feel an overwhelming sadness and grief in my throat that overflows out in shaky breaths, trembling sighs, and crying.
Sometimes I feel anger and frustration activated in my solar plexus after holding a difficult pose for a long time. It’s that feeling of being forced to do things you don’t want to do. A lifetime of denying your own wants and needs.
Both of these are connected to my deep sense of shame and a false belief that something is wrong with me. That I’m defective and a burden to others. That I have no right to exist.
I have always dealt with those feelings by keeping quiet, flying under the radar, staying small, hiding in plain sight, or retreating into my own inner world. It was safer there. It was safer being alone and isolated. That way I wouldn’t be a burden and incur the wrath of others. Or the rejection and indifference. That’s how my childhood self protected me and kept me safe.
This carried through into adulthood and I still struggle with it daily.
The Cost Of Playing Small
This protective coping mechanism has come at a high cost:
I have rarely openly expressed what is true for me in the moment. I have stifled my creativity.
These may sound small but they reverberate through every action, interaction, relationship, and decision in my entire life.
It permeates everything.
I’ve gotten so used to pushing myself aside I often don’t know what I want. There have been so many things I’ve held back in fear.
So it’s become very important to me to help myself feel safe to be seen and heard without editing myself out of my life.
My Soul Purpose is to help others with this same struggle.
I want everyone to bring their God into everything they do.
Imagine if we could all do this for ourselves. How could this impact our choices, our everyday disposition, our view on our place in the world, and how we interact with others? What opportunities have we missed, what dreams have we given up on, and what gifts do we deny the world?
The solution to the world’s problems begins within each of us. And we all bring something very special to the table. We just haven’t allowed ourselves to do so. We accumulated decades of denying our true selves. Most of the time out of pure survival in a world of crazy norms and rules we didn’t create or agree to.
And yet we agree to them and recreate them every day. What choice did we have? Can we slowly come into clearer awareness and love ourselves enough to make a new more conscious choice?
This will take time, love, bravery, and patience. We will need to start loving ourselves and helping each other when we can.
A Soul Message
Listen to what my Mother Self told me today:
You can speak whatever.
You don’t need to hide anymore.
Thank you for looking out for our safety. I know you used to hide parts of us for our own protection. Thank you for keeping us safe when it felt dangerous to speak.
But now the coast is clear!
We can come out of hiding.
We are safe.
For a while, we may still get scared but we are brave and capable. I have trust in myself to be able to handle whatever comes. we can give ourselves permission to be like the people we look up to: fearless, fierce, raw, unfiltered, free, feral, and deep with authentic expression.
They let Source flow right through them unafraid of what comes out.
Divine Expression of the wild untamed and unknown mysteries.
The infinite faces of God.
All of that is contained within you. You’ve always felt it under the surface. You don’t have to push it down anymore. It’s what the world needs. It needs you to be a channel for the Word. For Source to work through you.
Just let It.
We never needed to perform or do anything. We just needed to get out of the way. Let Source shine in the unique way it does through our own special filter. When enough of us do that we become the most beautiful masterpiece –
A God Mosaic.
Heaven on Earth.
And it starts within you.
You will need to be brave and inspire others if you want to collaborate on humanity’s most magnificent piece of art in the history of time on Earth.
That means letting go of shame.
No more hiding.
Accept that there is nothing wrong with you or any of your authentic expressions.
Just let You come through.
Just let God.
Just let It.
I hope your Soul hears this message and you can begin the practice of letting the Divine express through you with more ease every day.