Queendom: a state or territory ruled by a Queen. Merriam-Webster
Do you know the Power you have?
Do you know the Sovereignty?
The Freedom?
The Choice?
Even if you can’t feel it sometimes, just know, that you have full Reign. You get to decide how to use your personal power. I know that can be difficult to accept. Maybe you are feeling stuck. Or have choices that don’t appeal to you. Maybe you learned to let others lead your life because you were never taught to believe in yourself. Maybe you never learned to make decisions for your own best interest. Maybe you learned to be afraid of your own power. Maybe you feel completely powerless!
Or maybe your social conditioning has implanted false negative beliefs that get in the way of your sovereignty.
I understand this very well.
I’ve felt powerless all my life. I let myself get swept away in the current of living for expectations. I’ve felt overtaken by the undercurrent of people-pleasing and self-sacrifice. I’ve hidden myself so as not to cause a storm.
But I have recently decided that I will accept my Power as Queen of my Own World.
Coming Into Your Power
Stepping more fully and consciously into this Power is scary. It means taking responsibility for my choices. It means speaking up and advocating for my own needs and desires. It means fierce loyalty to my Truth. Even when it displeases others or makes them uncomfortable.
As a people-pleaser, there is no greater crime than letting others down or making them uncomfortable! Or letting others take responsibility for their own feelings. We are so used to making it our job to soothe others and fix their problems.
But as Queen, you recognize that your job is to use your full Power in Love. And that includes Love for yourself. Of course, it’s not wrong to help others or take care of people you love! But not constantly at the expense of your own needs and desires.
Consider yourself.
Crown yourself!
Obstacles
I felt overwhelmed with feeling unwanted, brushed aside, and ignored recently. I knew the behavior was not intended to have this effect on me. And I knew that this was often my interpretation of the slights of others.
Sometimes I feel unwanted.
Alone.
I feel that it is expected that I will always have to be available to be there to pick up the slack. That anything that needs to be done will always fall on me. That I am not a priority. That I need to ignore my own needs. That I’m here to take care of everyone else and no one is taking care of me.
While I see that this wasn’t personal, it was hurtful. And I needed to take responsibility for my part in perpetuating this pattern.
I’ve decided that this issue does not work for me anymore.
I wrote a list of demands.
They are not geared toward others. They are a boundary that I will enforce for myself. It’s a change that I am making. People can respect it, or not. I have no power to change others. Only how I will respond, and what treatment I will accept. If I come across people or situations that aren’t good for me, it’s up to ME to act.
That is my Power.
Affirmations of Personal Power
For anyone who struggles with people-pleasing and self-sacrifice that was learned as a survival strategy, feel free to repeat these affirmations:
I will only accept people and situations in which I am wanted.
I will only accept people and situations in which I am appreciated.
I will only accept people and situations that benefit me.
I will only accept people and situations where I am a priority.
I will only accept people and situations in which I am also taken care of.
I will be thought of.
I will be considered.
I will not be forgotten.
I will not be a footnote.
I will be seen in my TRUTH.
I will be seen in my true VALUE and WORTH.
It is not my job to make others feel comfortable with their unconscious behavior.
It is not my responsibility to make others feel better.
I am not always available.
It is others’ responsibility to self-regulate and heal themselves. Not mine.
If people can’t meet my needs, I will find another way.
I get to choose who gets access to my time and energy.
I’m allowed to say NO.
I don’t owe anyone anything.
If my cup is full, then I will give willingly. If not, my focus is on refilling my cup.
I am not obligated to do everything for everyone.
I break free of all these expectations.
I will be recognized.
My needs will be recognized.
I will have support.
I deserve to be taken care of.
I deserve to be considered.
I deserve to be a priority.
I deserve to be wanted and feel wanted.
This was a very powerful exercise for me. Within minutes of making these proclamations things shifted. Not only within myself, but those I’m most connected to in a people-pleasing way (my partner and my parent), reached out to me intuitively with support.
And remember, these are not selfish sentiments. You may have felt uneasy repeating these affirmations. I know to say these things out loud can feel uncomfortable when you haven’t learned to recognize your own importance. Your right to exist. To express your truth.
With practice, it will become easier. And with the support and love from those that care about you, over time you will be able to accept your inner power.
Anger may come up, and that is okay. Just remember, you can express your anger in a healthy way without hurling it at others.
Accepting The Power of Queendom
I am loving, generous, giving, understanding, patient, supportive, encouraging, inspiring, helpful, insightful, respectful, and kind.
I will be treated in the same way.
I will be treated like the Queen that I am.
I rule my life.
I am fair to myself.
Accept your Queendom in Power and Love!
How do these affirmations make you feel? Have you had trouble feeling your own power? Were you taught that having power is bad? What makes you feel powerful? Let me know in the comments!